The Aftermath
by mad4tv
Summary: I get pretty frustrated at Hollyoaks' habit of skipping important points in the story after a cliff-hanger. This was intended to be a one-shot, but I actually have another one planned, so keep an eye out.
1. Chapter 1

_Set immediately after John Paul confessing that Finn raped him. My take on how things transpired._

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>I know you're telling the truth Nancy, because he raped me too".<strong>_

There was complete silence as everyone absorbed the information that John Paul had revealed. John Paul looked to the floor, avoiding any form of eye-contact with anyone. Nancy was the first person to break the silence as she stammered, "Wh… what? He-"

She was interrupted by Diane, who took a step towards the man who had turned as white as a sheet.

"This is ridiculous!" she exclaimed, "as if our Finn would rape anyone, let alone his teacher; his male teacher who's about a decade older than him!"

She paused as she looked between John Paul and Nancy, before snaking an arm around her son's shoulder.

"This is some sort of sick wind-up, isn't it? You're just ganging up on my innocent boy"

"There ain't nothing innocent about this little pervert!" Ste cried, pointing at Finn, "Do you really think John Paul would accuse him of rape for no reason? When he told me, I could see that it was the hardest thing he's ever had to do, he wouldn't just tell all of you for the sake of it!"

John Paul grabbed Ste's arm to silence him. Jack emerged from behind Darren, though nobody noticed him escaping in the first place. This was followed by the sound of car doors slamming which startled everyone in the pub. A trio of police officers marched in.

"Finn O'Connor?" one of them called out. Everyone turned to stare at Finn, whose face had become red and was staring at his shoes.

"Would you come with us please?" they asked. Finn shook his head and stepped away.

"Sir, if you don't comply with us then we're gonna have to arrest you" a second officer told him.

"I haven't done anything!" Finn shouted. The third officer grabbed his arm and Finn tried to shake him off. Tony grabbed Finn's shoulders and looked into his eyes.

"Finn, if you're innocent then you have nothing to worry about" he assured him, searching for a guilty reaction from his step-son. Finn glanced at Diane and Tony helplessly before removing himself from Tony's grip. The officer led him away, whilst the remaining two looked around.

"We'd also like to speak to the victims", one of them announced. Nancy stepped forwards whilst John Paul shrunk backwards at being labelled a 'victim'. Ste squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"You need to go" he murmured, "You can do this"

John Paul looked into Ste's eyes pleadingly.

"I'll wait for you" Ste told him before gently pushing John Paul forwards. With one last glance towards his boyfriend, John Paul followed Nancy out of The Dog.

Frankie - always one to try to lighten the mood - suddenly noted, "why is this place so popular for these kinds of reveals all of a sudden? First Maxine, now John Paul"

"I can't believe it" Esther admitted, shocked, "I don't want to believe that Finn's capable of something like that, or that John Paul went through all of that"

"When did it happen?" Darren asked Ste quietly

"January" Ste replied shortly, checking his pockets to make sure that he had everything.

"He's been dealing with this on his own the entire time?" Frankie asked, aghast.

"Only a few people knew, until today" Ste told them

"Well it certainly explains his behaviour over the last few months" Jack added, "lashing out at Robbie, losing his job, not fighting to stay out of prison"

"Among other things" Ste retorted grimly, "look, I'm heading down to the station if anyone wants to join me"

"Yeah, I need to be with Nancy" Darren stated, joining Ste.

The men exited whilst the rest of the guests remained standing, still in a state of shock.

xxx

Ste stood outside the police station, staring at the star lit sky. He didn't particularly want to sit inside, partly because the air and atmosphere was stifling, and partly because he had been in that place far too many times in his life and was sick of it. He was taken out of his trance by the sound of footsteps approaching from behind. He spun around to face John Paul and immediately threw his arms around him in a tight embrace. John Paul relaxed into his arms and rested his head on Ste's shoulder. They stood in their hold for a while before Ste eventually pulled away.

"Are you ok?" he asked, holding his boyfriend's face in his hands.

John Paul paused before replying, "I don't know"

Ste let his hands fall before taking one of John Paul's in one of his own. They began to walk away from the police station.

"I'm proud of you" Ste told him after a long silence. John Paul looked at him quizzically,

"For what?" John Paul asked, "For waiting nearly nine months to tell the truth, for almost letting the same thing happen to one of my best friends?"

Ste shook his head, "For telling the truth. You didn't choose to do that, you didn't do it to get back at Finn or for attention. You did it to support Nancy" he paused, "I know how difficult that must have been for you, and that was the bravest, most selfless thing I've ever seen anyone do in my life. And that's saying something"

John Paul smiled faintly, cheeks turning slightly pink. He glanced at Ste.

"I'm sorry for lying to you"

Ste raised an eyebrow, "I don't really get why you did that"

John Paul's eyes met Ste's, "Ste, if I hadn't shown up when I did, you would have killed him. And as much as I hate Finn - and I **really** hate Finn - he doesn't deserve to die" Ste scoffed so John Paul continued, "he deserves to be punished, but he should be alive while he is"

xxx

Once they had reached the McQueen house, John Paul dropped his hand from Ste's and reached into his pocket to find the key.

"Do you want to come in for a drink?" John Paul suggested, "I know I could use one, or two, or three - you see where I'm going with this"

Ste chuckled, "yeah, I reckon we both need it"

John Paul smiled and slipped the key into the lock. As he went to open the door he paused and looked to the ground.

"Ste…" John Paul began, sounding uncertain as he looked up at his boyfriend, who raised an eyebrow.

"I love you" he declared.

Ste's face broke into a wide grin, "I love you too" he responded gently.

John Paul shook his head and choked out, "No, I mean I'm **in love** with you. Completely and utterly. I can't even put into words how in love with you I am"

Ste's eyes glistened and he swallowed a lump in his throat. He opened his mouth to reply but John Paul wasn't quite finished as he turned around to face him properly.

"I don't know how I would have got through any of this without you. You've been amazing and I never even thanked you"

Ste moved towards him and stroked his cheek, "you don't have to thank me" he assured him.

John Paul let out a breath and rested his forehead against Ste's.

"Plus, I feel the same about you" Ste admitted. They both smiled and kissed tenderly. As they broke apart, their eyes met and they closed the distance to kiss again, this time with more passion. John Paul reached behind him and pushed the door open. Without breaking their kiss they stumbled through the front door and John Paul pulled on Ste's slightly unbuttoned shirt to drag him up the stairs…

xxx

"So much for that drink" Ste muttered, running his fingers through John Paul's hair. John Paul sat up in his bed.

"If you still want one-" he began, but Ste grabbed his arm and pulled him down into his original position so that John Paul's head was resting against his chest.

"Nope, you're perfect right here" he responded, before kissing him lovingly.

They stayed in that position for a short while before Ste wriggled onto his side to face John Paul.

"Are you ok?" he asked, rubbing his boyfriend's arm. John Paul raised an eyebrow,

"About what?"

"Well I was referring mainly to **this**, but I guess in general really"

"It's been an eventful day" John Paul admitted, "But I don't regret any of it"

"Really?"

John Paul nodded and linked his fingers with Ste's, "I'm glad that this happened now. Not that yesterday was the wrong time or anything"

"Yeah, I guess this kind marks the end of the Finn situation"

John Paul shook his head, "the thing is though, it's not the end, it's only the beginning"

The boys were oblivious to Marlena standing outside the door, practically jumping for joy about the fact that Ste and her beloved grandson had finally consummated their relationship. Against her better judgement, she placed her ear to the door in the hope of eavesdropping on their afterglow conversation.

"Now I have to tell my family" Marlena heard from John Paul. She was slightly puzzled: tell them what?

"How do you think they'll react?"

John Paul scoffed, "do you not know my family? They'll want to rip Finn apart, limb by limb"

Finn? Marlena was confused. What had Finn done?

"Yeah, I can imagine Mercedes acting the same way that I did" Ste noted before asking, "Do you reckon it will be the same as when **Jacqui** was raped?"

Marlena reeled backwards in shock, hand over her mouth. Had she heard right? Finn O'Connor had raped her grandson?

"I don't know" John Paul admitted, "Jacqui was the oldest and the strongest, but she's female. It might be different for me"

"It shouldn't matter" Ste argued, "I do know your family, and I know they'll support and defend you", he snickered "you're McQueen's, that's what you **do**"

John Paul chortled, "Yeah, you're right", then he sighed, "But how do I tell them that a boy overpowered me, raped me?"

They were interrupted by the door swinging open to reveal Marlena in the gloomy hallway, looking tired and grey, eyes wide with shock. The boys pulled the duvet up to cover themselves more. John Paul's face had turned pale again as he realised that his Nana had overheard most - if not all - of their conversation.

_I hope people enjoyed this; I was just inspired by the reveal episode and the aftermath - they were so good! I also hope that it linked to what was actually shown (Marlena finding out about John Paul's ordeal) and that it wasn't too cheesy: I do have a habit of doing that! I do have one more one-shot planned that doesn't really link to this, though it does involve Ste. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviews are always welcome!_


	2. Chapter 2

**The Blast**

_I was pretty disappointed that after Danny revealed that he was Ste's father, the following episode skipped to the next morning, so we didn't get to see Ste's initial reaction. I would also have liked to find out Amy's reaction to the fact that the flat that she lived in for about five years was blown up, so I've written this one-shot to cover both of these things._

"_**You're my son"**_

* * *

><p>The words rung in Ste's head like a fire alarm. He stared at the towering man in front of him in a state of amazement and complete bewilderment, the man who had just dropped the second biggest bombshell that he had received in the last 24 hours.<p>

"You're my… my-" Ste stammered, "my dad?"

Danny nodded, eyes glistening with tears. He didn't know whether to smile or to back away slowly from his son, who was clearly struggling to process what he had just been told; instead his grasp on the young man tightened slightly.

"How?" Ste exclaimed, "How can you be my dad? You, you're with John Paul, you fancy blokes"

"So do you, and you're a dad" Danny reminded him unnecessarily. Ste nodded and took a few steps backwards out of Danny's grip, the backs of his knees colliding with the couch. He steadied himself and looked back at Danny.

"And you…" Ste began, then his eyes widened in horror, "**we**, we almost slept together" he chocked out

Danny screwed his eyes shut, "let's not think about that" he murmured.

"But you knew, and we nearly-" Ste began, looking appalled. Danny shook his head.

"I didn't, I didn't know. It was when you went to the bathroom, I saw the cards that I had sent you and the photo of you and your mum, then I figured it out" he explained earnestly, "I swear, I never would have tried anything if I knew who you really were"

"So you bailed because…" Ste put the pieces together in his head,

"Yeah" Danny confirmed, "I was going to tell you the next day when you confronted me about it, but obviously I didn't get the chance"

Ste nodded as he remembered John Paul interrupting them before punching him in the face. The memory caused Ste to notice that he was still in pain from the explosion, so he gingerly touched his hand to the wounds on his skin. Danny's head fell to the side sympathetically as he watched his son looking so timid and vulnerable.

"I've been looking for you" Danny told him quietly, causing Ste to promptly drop his hand and narrow his eyes at him. Danny sighed, "I'm sorry that this is the way it had to come out"

Ste thought to himself for a moment, "But was it ever gonna come out?" he asked, "You knew Doug and I were leaving, you came by the flat while we were packing and you didn't say a word"

"What was the point?" Danny asked in response, "You two were happy, and were gonna start afresh, who was I to ruin that?"

"My dad, that's who you are" Ste answered, then rubbed his eyes. "My dad" he repeated, breath quickening, "you're my dad, and you've got a wife and kids, and a bloke on the side" he shook his head in disbelief, "And you're keeping us all separate?"

Danny tipped his head back and covered his face with his hands for a few moments, "I know, and I hate this, all of it" he groaned before dropping his hands and looking Ste in the eyes, "But I promise that I will be the dad that you need and give you the life that you deserve, the one that you've been denied since you were born"

Ste couldn't help the second round of tears brimming in his eyes, but these weren't tears of grief, rather of relief. He smiled a watery smile at his dad, who returned it. Danny carefully moved forwards and stroked his son's cheek gently. Ste closed his eyes at this sensation, and then leaned forwards, pressing his face into his dad's shoulder. Danny wrapped his arms around his son and kissed his head. They stood in silence for what felt like an eternity.

"Just so you know" Danny began, breaking the silence, "Doug knew that I was your dad". Ste looked up at him quizzically, so Danny elaborated, "He wanted me to tell you, he even threatened to do it himself" he confessed, "that's how much he cared about you, he was willing to stay in the village that he wanted to escape from just so you could have a family"

Ste was surprised by the fact that his late husband knew, but it certainly explained Doug's behaviour towards the end. He pushed himself out of Danny's grip and stared at him,

"So if you or Doug had told me, then we wouldn't have decided to leave" he realised, "then we wouldn't have had that party, and he'd still be here"

Danny nodded, "I am so sorry Ste" he apologised, reaching out hesitantly and gripping Ste's shoulder. His son looked at the hand for a few moments and Danny was worried that he would shrug him off. Instead Ste shook his head, "it's ok" he reassured him, "we can't change anything, can we? Like you said, he would have wanted this for me"

Danny nodded again, then wrapped his arm around his son's shoulder, "come on" he said gently, "let's go home".

xxx

"This is where you live?" Ste asked, as they approached the door.

Danny nodded, confused, "yeah, why?"

Ste shook his head uncomfortably, "no reason"

As Danny opened the door and headed inside, Ste stood still, deliberating about something. Danny stood in the doorway, puzzled.

"Aren't you coming in?" he asked

"In a minute" Ste replied distantly, then blinked at his dad, "I just need to make a quick phone call"

Danny smiled faintly and slowly moved away, leaving the door slightly ajar.

Ste stood outside his new home- or rather, his ex's old home- and brought his mobile to his ear. It rung several times before the familiar, comforting, feminine voice answered tiredly.

"Hello?"

"Amy, it's Ste" he greeted, shakily

"Ste?" Amy seemed to wake up properly, "what are you doing, calling at stupid o'clock? Shouldn't you and Doug be resting up for your big trip?"

Ste tried to muffle a sob at the mention of his dead husband's name, but Amy heard it and sounded panicked, "Ste, what's wrong?"

Ste took a deep breath, "Amy, there's been an accident"

"What kind of accident? Where?"

"The flat" Ste began, "It got blown up, it's been destroyed"

"The flat?" Amy repeated, "Our home?"

"Yeah" Ste whispered.

"Is everyone ok? Was anyone hurt?"

Ste paused, "Ash, Ash Kane. She's dead"

"Oh my-" Amy began, but Ste interrupted her

"And so's Doug" he choked out

There was a pause from Amy's end of the exchange, "Doug?" she repeated as though she had misheard him, "As in, your husband Doug?"

"Yeah" Ste whimpered

"Oh Ste" she exclaimed, clearly on the verge of tears, "I'm so sorry"

Ste couldn't hold his grief in any longer, so he let out a howling cry.

"Ste, don't cry babe" Amy comforted, "Is there anything I can do?" she thought to herself, "Do you want me to get you a train ticket and you can come and stay with us for a bit?"

"No, I'm, uh…" he tried to recover from his emotional outburst and to explain about the situation with Danny, "I'm staying with my dad"

"Your… dad?" Amy questioned, then her voice turned grave, "Terry's not in the village is he?"

"No, no, not Terry" Ste assured her, "my real dad, Danny"

"Your real dad's in Hollyoaks?" she asked

"Yeah" Ste responded, "I only found out a few minutes ago, but he's invited me to stay with his wife and kids"

"So you've got a new family? That's amazing Ste!" she sounded genuinely happy, though still tearful.

"Yeah" Ste agreed, smiling slightly, "I just hope they like me"

"They'll love you" she responded, then cleared her throat, "Look Ste, if there's anything I can do, just name it"

"Could you… send the kids over?" Ste asked, hesitantly

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I really want to be with them, have something familiar around me"

"Yeah" she answered, then paused, "Would you like me to tell them about Doug or will you?"

"Actually, could you do it?" Ste asked, "I just don't think I can actually say the words out loud"

"Of course" Amy agreed

There was a pause and Ste heard a stifled yawn. He instantly felt guilty and tired himself.

"Amy, you're exhausted. I'll let you get some sleep"

"I will if you will" Amy told him

"Deal"

"I love you Ste" she murmured, her voice exhausted and tearful

"I love you too" he responded, before hanging up and heading into his new home.

xxx

"Mummy, why are you crying?" Leah asked, poking her head around the door. Amy jumped,

"What are you doing up baby?" she asked, rubbing her eyes to remove the tears

"I heard you talking on the phone" she responded meekly

"Uh, is your brother awake?"

Lucas poked his head around the door below his sister and Amy couldn't help but laugh. She tapped the space next to her on the bed.

"Sit down kids, there's something I need to tell you"

The children hopped onto the bed and exchanged a puzzled look. Amy took a deep breath.

"It's about daddy Doug" she began, voice already shaking

"He didn't lose Gary, did he?" Leah began, sounding slightly annoyed, "he said that they'd keep daddy safe"

Amy looked down and shook her head, willing the tears away.

"Gary's… fine" Amy responded slowly, not knowing whether that was actually true. She sniffed and looked at a spot on the wall behind her children, not able to look at them directly as she delivered the shattering piece of news.

"There was an incident at daddy's home, it got damaged badly and…" she could barely hold it together as she choked out, "daddy Doug also got damaged, and the doctors couldn't help him"

It took a moment for the news to sink in, but Leah was the first to respond,

"So he's gone, like grandma Pauline?"

Amy nodded, tears escaping her eyes. She realised that this was the second person Ste had lost in about two months, and the tears were almost more for him than for anyone else. Leah and Lucas wrapped their arms around their mum, who continued to shed silent tears. She was grateful that her children were so brave and strong.

Just like their daddy.

_Thanks for reading! I'm glad that people enjoyed my last chapter, and I hope you enjoyed this one as much! I have a couple more one-shots in the pipeline, so keep an eye out. Thanks again, and reviews are always welcome!_


	3. Chapter 3

**The proposal**

_I know that this wasn't an end-of-episode cliffhanger, but I__ seriously could not believe that they decided to skip Ste's reaction to John Paul's proposal: it doesn't really lend much hope for their relationship, does it? Anyway, I decided to write a one-shot based around it._

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>Steven Hay, please will you marry me?"<strong>_

Ste gaped at the young man kneeling in front of him, and never felt more conflicted in his whole life. He was just about to tell John Paul about his infidelity, and here he was being proposed to instead. Ste knew that he had to tell him the truth at some point, sooner rather than later. Keeping secrets in a relationship - especially being engaged or married - was never a good idea; that was one of the reasons that his first marriage had ended. Well, it was mainly because his husband had died, but before that it was the secrets and lies that destroyed their relationship. Ste knew that in some ways this betrayal was worse than if he had been with another bloke. The fact that it was Sinead that he slept with would break John Paul's heart. After all, John Paul's ex, Craig, had been sleeping with a girl while they were together, and Ste was worried that it would bring back those memories. Ste only had eyes for John Paul, but he knew that Craig would have told him the same over and over again, and look how that relationship turned out. Ste was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice the awkward silence developing, or John Paul becoming increasingly uncomfortable. Eventually John Paul cleared his throat audibly, which snapped Ste back into reality.

"Uh, Ste" John Paul began, grimacing, "my leg's kind of starting to ache, so…"

Ste realised that John Paul had been watching him and waiting for a response from him for quite a while now. Ste was quick to apologise several times, much to John Paul's amusement.

"It's ok" John Paul assured him whilst chuckling. Then his face fell as he sensed Ste's hesitation, "Wait, it's too soon, isn't it? I mean, we've only been together a couple of months" he looked disappointed and embarrassed, "I guess I just got caught up in the moment"

Ste wasn't sure how to respond to him, so he continued to just stare uneasily, causing John Paul to sigh.

"My mum always said that I move too quickly in relationships. Now I know what she means" he began to get up, "You know what? I'm gonna grab a beer, then we can just sit and have a laugh about it" he paused, "Not awkward at all" he mumbled sarcastically.

"Yeah" Ste murmured distantly. As John Paul got up and moved towards the front door to the pub, Ste grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Yeah" he repeated, more confidently. John Paul blinked at him blankly, so Ste nodded.

"Yes, yes I'll marry you" he exclaimed.

John Paul's face broke into a relieved smile, "seriously?"

"Of course" Ste laughed, taking both of John Paul's hands in his own, "come here" he commanded gently, pulling John Paul towards him and capturing his lips in a searing kiss. John Paul smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Ste's waist, whilst Ste's arms encircled John Paul's neck and pulled him in closer.

xxx

"Here's…" John Paul began, passing Ste a pint of lager, "to us"

John Paul sat down opposite Ste at a table and they clinked glasses before taking a sip. John Paul gazed at Ste over his glass and couldn't help but notice the thoughtful expression that he wore.

"Are you ok, Princess?"

Ste sniggered, still trying to adapt to the oh-so masculine 'term of endearment' that John Paul was using for him. In fact, he almost preferred 'sweetheart' even though John Paul used that on nearly everyone.

"Yeah, I'm fine"

"Really?" John Paul questioned, "Because when I proposed, you were staring at me as though I'd just grown another head and was speaking in Portuguese"

Ste scoffed at the image before shrugging, "It's nothing"

John Paul shook his head, "come on Ste, we can't have secrets. We have to talk about things honestly now"

Ste seriously considered confessing all to John Paul; it wasn't too late, maybe he would forgive him. 'Yeah, right' Ste thought to himself, 'If I was him, I wouldn't forgive that'. Instead, he chose to lie, and used the first thing that he could think of.

"It's just that when you proposed, I kind of had a flashback" Ste told him. John Paul looked confused,

"A flashback to what?"

"To Doug" Ste explained after hesitating slightly, "next week will be two years since he proposed to me"

John Paul nodded in realisation, "of course" then he looked apologetic, "I'm sorry"

Ste sat up, "no, don't be" he told him earnestly, reaching over the table and linking his fingers with John Paul's. He paused before awkwardly apologising himself, "sorry for leaving you hanging for so long"

John Paul shook his head, "don't worry about it, it's a big decision, one that definitely needs time"

Ste nodded awkwardly before clearing his throat, "How's your leg?"

John Paul rubbed his aching limb, "well I think I've got the patio engraved on it, but it was totally worth it"

Ste smiled and pushed himself out of his seat, then leant over the table to kiss him languidly. At that moment Frankie came out to clear a table and spotted them.

"Oh, are you two celebrating something?"

John Paul and Ste shared an uncomfortable look as they pulled apart and returned to their seats. Ste knew that this situation could be quite awkward considering that John Paul had been in a serious relationship with Frankie's son a couple of years earlier. Luckily Ste was an expert at lying so he stepped in to save his fiancé.

"We're just trying to cheer ourselves up before the trial"

"Of course" Frankie responded, looking downcast. She glanced at John Paul kindly.

"Just so you know, I'm on your side"

John Paul looked pleasantly surprised, "really?"

She nodded, "I know you, John Paul. And as much as I don't want to believe that Finn would do something like that, I know that you wouldn't lie about it"

"Thanks Frankie" John Paul acknowledged sincerely, "that means a lot"

"Anything you need, just let me know"

"Cheers"

Frankie was about to turn around and head inside, but she changed her mind and turned back to them, "and by the way, Craig offers his full support as well"

John Paul almost choked on his mouthful of drink.

"Craig?" he repeated as though he had misheard, "you told Craig about my attack?"

Frankie looked shifty, "I needed someone to talk to"

"And your husband wasn't enough?" John Paul questioned, appalled, "Instead you tell my ex, who nobody's seen in years?"

"Craig is my son, first and foremost" Frankie argued

"But it has nothing to do with him!" John Paul exclaimed

"Yes it does. Not only did Finn attack **you**, but he tried to rape Nancy, Craig's sister-in-law. This is a family matter"

"So is this a regular thing then? Updating Craig on all of the going's on in the village?" John Paul queried, sounding aggravated

"When it's important, yes"

"In that case" John Paul began, "next time you speak to him, be sure to tell him the good news". He smiled at Ste before looking up at Frankie, smugly, "Ste and I are engaged"

It took Frankie a moment to absorb the information, but she eventually looked from John Paul to Ste, then back to John Paul before noting: "Engaged? But you've only been together for five minutes!"

John Paul shrugged, "well when you know, you know, right?"

"Right" Frankie replied, sounding unconvinced, "well I guess I'll leave you to it"

Her heels clattered loudly against the ground as she flounced back inside. Ste looked at John Paul, annoyed.

"Were you just using our engagement to make Craig jealous?" he asked. Although it was an unfair assumption, a tiny part of him was secretly hoping that it was true so that he wouldn't feel so guilty about being unfaithful whilst his fiancé was practically perfect. John Paul looked aghast that Ste would even suggest it.

"No way! I don't want Craig" John Paul cried, "I want you, that's why I proposed to you"

Ste tried to atone for his accusation, "Sorry, it's just that I know what it's like to take the next step with someone whilst still being hung-up on your ex" he explained, "I just want to make sure that that's not happening with you"

"Of course not" John Paul assured him, "I was just angry that Frankie told Craig about my ordeal, it wasn't her place"

Ste watched pitifully as John Paul hung his head. He groaned before lifting his head back up and making eye-contact with Ste.

"What's wrong with me?" he asked, sounding agitated, "I just flipped out at Frankie for no reason"

"You're stressed" Ste told him simply, "it's normal to snap at people, you've got a lot going on"

John Paul sighed, "Yeah, but that's not an excuse. If anything, I should be glad that **she's **telling people about it, it saves **me** having to"

Ste moved his chair so that he was sitting virtually beside him before resting a hand on John Paul's knee.

"It'll be ok" he reassured him, "Soon this will all be over and we can try to move on"

John Paul smiled gratefully and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you" he whispered, wrapping an arm around Ste's neck and stroking his hair, "I just hate all of this. When I walk through the village I either see people looking at me as though they want to set me on fire, or looking at me like I'm some kind of helpless puppy"

"Well it's certainly caused a conflict" Ste noted.

"You can say that again" he agreed, "I mean, I'd take the sympathy over the disgust any day, but I don't want to take **any** of it. I just want my life back" he paused and glanced at Ste, "well, 'our life'"

Ste smiled at him before wrapping an arm around his shoulders. John Paul rested his head against Ste's shoulder as Ste ran his hand up and down John Paul's arm comfortingly.

"So, are we gonna tell people about us?" John Paul asked, breaking the comfortable silence, "My mum will definitely want to know ASAP"

Ste froze. People would have to find out eventually, but what if that made the situation with Sinead worse? Plus, Tony already knew that he had been disloyal, what if he let it slip? What if Sinead found out and ended up revealing his betrayal to John Paul out of spite? After all, her brother was facing jail time for what he did to John Paul; it would be the perfect revenge. Ste swallowed before responding with: "maybe not right now"

John Paul lifted his head from Ste's shoulder and raised an eyebrow at him quizzically.

"I mean, you can tell your mum, but with everything that's going on, we probably shouldn't draw more attention to ourselves than we already have" Ste explained, "Plus, Tony and Diane might think we're rubbing their faces in it"

"Good point" John Paul noted, "we'll just wait until after the trial, cheer everyone up, 'eh?"

"Exactly" Ste added, before kissing John Paul tenderly. They smiled at each other before John Paul returned his head to Ste's shoulder, wrapping an arm around his waist in an embrace. Ste gulped uncomfortably- was it too late to confess now? The guilt was already eating him up and they'd only just got engaged, how would he be able to cope for the rest of his life like this? Ste shook his head: he would have to find a way…

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! I hope people enjoyed this as much as they've enjoyed my previous one-shots. Sorry if John Paul seemed out of character whilst arguing with Frankie, but I needed a way to create tension between Ste and John Paul (because things seemed tense in the following episode). I also wanted to have a character find out about the engagement, and both Tony and Myra found out in different ways, and I wish we could have seen Frankie's reaction. Plus, I have to take any opportunity to mention Ste or John Paul's exes, so I did! Anyway, I've got one more one-shot in the pipeline, so keep your eyes out!<em>


	4. Chapter 4

**Playing the Play Station**

_Again, not an actual cliffhanger, but this may be one of my favourite McHay moments (and definitely my favourite post-credits scene) to date- it was so sweet! Plus, up to when the episode aired, it was one of the few times in the last year or so that I've actually found Ste to be a lovely, likeable character. Because of this, I've written a one-shot that carries on from that moment._

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>Prepare to be obliterated"<strong>_

John Paul fell backwards onto his pillow, exhaling loudly and splaying his arms, dropping his controller onto the floor. Ste turned to grin at him smugly before patting his knee.

"Told you so" he leered. John Paul lifted his head in exasperation before propping himself up onto his elbows.

"How are you so good at that game?" he questioned, "It's **my** game!"

Ste looked sheepish, "Well, I remembered that you told me about it a while ago, so I went out and bought it". After seeing John Paul's disapproving look he exclaimed, "I've had a lot of time to kill lately"

"So instead of trying to get your job back, you waste your days playing this?"

Ste scoffed, "Tony wouldn't give me my job back even if I went down on my knees and kissed his backside"

John Paul shuddered, "Can't say I'd blame him for that"

Ste rolled his eyes and hit him with his pillow. John Paul grabbed it and returned the attack before hugging the pillow to his chest in order to prevent Ste from snatching it back.

"Spoil sport" Ste grumbled, pouting. John Paul laughed and placed a light kiss on his protruding lips. Ste hummed in surprise and satisfaction before returning the kiss, placing a hand on the back John Paul's neck and pulling him closer. They were interrupted by the sound of baby Matthew crying through the baby monitor, and both boys sighed as they pulled apart.

"Wow, way to ruin the moment, kid" Ste mumbled.

"I should go and check on him"

Ste looked confused, "where is he?"

"I put him in Nana's room" John Paul explained, "The colour of her wallpaper seems to have a calming effect on him"

"Well clearly that's not true" Ste pointed out as Matthew's cries grew louder. John Paul chuckled then climbed off the bed, dropping the pillow into Ste's lap.

"I'll be back in a minute" John Paul assured him, before exiting. Ste watched after him then placed the pillow back in its original spot before turning off the game and putting the controllers away.

xxx

"Sorry about that" John Paul apologised as he opened the door. He entered, carrying Matthew in his arms. Ste shook his head,

"No problem" he reassured him, "I know what it's like"

"Of course you do" John Paul realised, lowering himself down onto the bed and placing Matthew on his crossed legs.

"I can't wait to see the kids again" Ste said quietly, reaching out to rub Matthew's hand with his thumb. Matthew gripped Ste's thumb in a small fist, and Ste smiled at him, "It'd be nice if they got on with baby Matthew"

"Why, so that **they** can play with him instead?" John Paul retorted, jokingly.

"Maybe" Ste replied innocently, eyes darting from left to right. John Paul sniggered and kissed him tenderly.

"You've got to do something with your life" John Paul told him as he pulled away, leaving Ste disappointed and annoyed at yet another disturbance.

"First baby Matthew interrupts us, now you?" Ste exclaimed, exasperated.

"I'm serious" John Paul insisted, "You've got kids, and rent to pay, you can't be unemployed forever"

Ste sneered, "You can hardly talk! You were unemployed way longer than me"

His face turned grave as John Paul shifted uncomfortably, and Ste realised that he had overstepped the mark,

"I didn't mean it like that" Ste apologised. John Paul shook his head,

"I doesn't matter anymore" he assured his boyfriend, "I've got the adult teaching job now, and I'm happy"

"Happy?" Ste repeated, "I haven't seen you 'happy' in ages"

Again, John Paul looked uneasy, so Ste took one of his hands in one of his own.

"But now I get why you were acting like that, why you didn't fight to keep your job at the school, why you've been acting so weird since…" Ste trailed off. Suddenly his eyes widened in realisation,

"It was the night that we were supposed to go out for drinks, wasn't it? On my birthday" he questioned, "you shut the door in my face when I went to confront you. I mean, you even called me to tell me that something had happened. That was the 'something', wasn't it? The attack"

John Paul avoided his gaze, which was confirmation in Ste's eyes.

"John Paul, that was in January" Ste pointed out, "why has it taken you over six months to tell me? I kept asking you over and over again what was wrong, why couldn't you have just told me?"

John Paul shrugged, looking annoyed, "I thought you said you weren't gonna bring this up"

"Actually, I said that I wouldn't force it out of you"

"Isn't that what you're doing?" John Paul argued, removing his hand from Ste's grasp and shuffling away from him, causing Matthew to whimper slightly.

"No, I'm just putting the pieces together"

"Well can you not sound so interrogative?" John Paul cried, becoming nervous that his boyfriend might figure out who was responsible for his rape, "You're not your step-mum"

"And another thing," Ste began, causing John Paul to sigh, "You reported it to Sam, yet you didn't tell her who did it. You could have had this guy locked up months ago"

"I **couldn't** tell her" John Paul exclaimed.

"Why not?" Ste asked him, accusingly.

John Paul had to quickly think of a realistic excuse that he could use to deter Ste so that he wouldn't have to admit the truth about the fact that one of his students had done it. Even to this day he was still struggling with the fact that a teenage boy managed to sexually assault him and he was too weak to fight back; made even worse when he was sent to prison, almost as a punishment for his cowardice. Every day it got harder and harder for him to admit the truth, and even though he had told Ste what had happened, he was still keeping the most crucial part to himself, and he was ashamed, disgusted at his submissiveness – disgusted with himself. Suddenly a light bulb flickered on above his head as he came up with an explanation.

"Remember, I had an affair with her husband" John Paul reminded him, "I couldn't sit there whilst she looked at me with sympathy. I hated the thought that she would know everything about my attack yet would know nothing about me and Danny, and I couldn't bear the idea of her standing by me whilst I've betrayed her. I wouldn't have been able to cope with the guilt of that on top of everything else"

John Paul silently prayed that Ste would accept his excuse. Ste paused, clearly mulling over what he had just heard. Needing to change the subject before he could find any holes in his alibi, John Paul lifted Matthew out of his lap and plonked him into Ste's arms. Ste glanced at him curiously and, in response, John Paul held up a finger to signify that he would be back, and raced out of the room. Ste bounced Matthew in his lap for a few moments before John Paul returned, arms full of toys. Ste couldn't help but burst into laughter at the sight of John Paul's eyes peeking over the mountain of soft toys that he was cradling.

"You said that you know what it's like" John Paul began, dropping the toys onto the bed, "now let's see whether you've still got the touch"

Ste grinned wickedly, "Oh, I've got it. I've got it by the bucket load" he teased, manoeuvring himself and Matthew so that they could access the toys better. John Paul couldn't help feeling slightly guilty about using his son to distract Ste from grilling him about his attack, but nonetheless he grinned to himself as he watched Ste playing with his son and thought that maybe - just maybe - this could work.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! Again, I hope that people enjoyed the last one and this one. Thanks for all the lovely reviews so far. This one began as a really brief one-shot, but in order to extend it I had to go off plan slightly. I think (well, hope) that it worked out all right, but I can never really keep to one genre; I need a mix of fluff, comedy, drama and angst in order to actually make my stories worthwhile. Anyway, reviews are always welcome!<em>


	5. Chapter 5

**Telling stories**

_I was re-watching some of the recent episodes for inspiration and I came across the scene where Ste was in a coma and JP was telling Leela and Tegan about Ste's trolls. It prompted me to write this one-shot where Ste tells JP the story, set sometime at the end of July._

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>He told me about his trolls once…"<strong>_

Ste stood by the door to the McQueen's house. He straightened his collar before knocking. John Paul's voice could be heard talking to baby Matthew.

"Hold on, just sit there for a second and play with your dolls"

Ste froze at the familiarity of John Paul's command. John Paul opened the door, smiling, but after noticing Ste's shocked expression his face fell.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Ste blinked at him before shaking his head.

"Nothing" he murmured

"Are you sure? You look like you've just seen a ghost"

John Paul was actually more accurate than he realised. Ste cleared his throat, "I'm fine" he lied, "it's just…" he tried to think of an excuse, "You look amazing"

John Paul glanced down at himself: he didn't look that much different from usual. He was wearing a relatively smart shirt for their date, but 'amazing' was a bit of an overstatement.

"Uh, thanks" John Paul replied uncertainly, before placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Come in" he said, holding the door open for Ste to enter. Ste glanced over at the coffee table, where Matthew was playing with his toys. He had them lined up in height order, making Ste feel uncomfortable.

"Can I get you a drink?" John Paul asked, eyeing Ste suspiciously.

"Just some water, thanks" he responded distantly, still staring at Matthew. John Paul poured him a tall glass of water before returning to the living room and handing it to him. Ste smiled briefly before downing it in a few seconds. John Paul's eyes widened in surprise.

"Whoa, easy there!" he exclaimed, "Anyone would think that you've been living in a desert for the last six months or something"

Ste smiled again, unconvincingly, "I'm fine" he repeated, "just had a long day, that's all"

John Paul cocked his head to the left slightly and looked at him disbelievingly.

"Nope, not buying it" he stated, "come on, I know there's something wrong"

Ste hesitated and John Paul looked worried.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" John Paul assured him, "You know as well as I do that it doesn't help to keep things to yourself"

Ste understood that John Paul was referring to himself and his confession that he had been raped. If John Paul could tell him something that harrowing, Ste could tell him his issue. John Paul crashed onto the sofa and pulled on Ste's sleeve to indicate that he wanted him to sit down. Ste lowered himself down gently and John Paul rubbed his back.

"Tell me what's going on" he instructed gently.

Ste sighed, "I know it sounds stupid, but it's just that when you went to answer the door, I heard you say something to Matthew that sounded familiar"

John Paul raised an eyebrow, "what did I say?"

Ste paused before admitting, "You told him to sit and play with his dolls"

"What was familiar about it?" John Paul asked, leaning in closer.

xxx

_1995_

Pauline trotted down the stairs and headed for the door. Before she opened it, however, she noticed Ste sitting on the floor staring at her.

"Oh, love, I almost forgot…" she exclaimed.

Ste watched as she opened the door under the stairs and removed a plastic box containing an array of troll dolls. Ste's face lit up as she pushed it towards him. She opened her purse and glanced inside, checking for her money, lipstick, protection, mobile phone and keys.

She didn't even glance at him, "Look, don't touch anything, yeah? Just sit there quietly and play with your trolls"

She smiled - more at her purse than at her son – before practically sprinting out of her home. Ste hesitated before picking five dolls out of his collection and standing the tallest one up on the furthest left of the table.

"Hey dad" Ste whispered, "school sucked today. We had to write about our favourite food and the teacher told me off because I couldn't spell 'pizzas'. I thought it was P-I-Z-A-Z-Z" he grumbled. The father troll grinned at him and Ste couldn't help but giggle. He picked up a toll with deep purple hair and placed it next to the father one.

"Oh, your wife's home" he exclaimed, before making them kiss. He then picked up the remaining three - all of them considerably smaller than the other two – and lined them up as well.

"And your kids" he added. He sat back and looked at them. Despite them being toys, this was the closest thing he had to a family; they looked so happy, so content together. Ste decided that he would have dinner with his family, and would make them his special pizazz.

xxx

"I didn't do much with them" Ste muttered, "They would just do mundane things like eating dinner, going to the park, things that I saw other families do"

John Paul couldn't help as his eyes glistened.

"I wanted a family so badly" Ste whispered, then cleared his throat, "and now I've got it"

John Paul nodded.

"I just wish it hadn't taken nearly twenty-five years though" Ste added, laughing bitterly.

John Paul hesitated before saying, "You know, when Danny and I were… seeing each other" he cringed, "he told me that he had a son. I had no idea it was you though. After all, you'd just told me that you guys had slept together"

Ste bit his lip, "yeah, not one of my finest moments"

"If I'd have known-" John Paul began

"Then you'd have thought that we were both sick for apparently sleeping together" Ste interrupted

John Paul scoffed, "Well maybe, but-"

"You would have hated me even more"

John Paul smiled at him fondly, "it's crazy to think there was a time when we hated each other. Actually, 'hate' is a strong-"

"- Accurate" Ste interjected

"- Word" John Paul finished, "I can't imagine anything else apart from being with you, loving you"

"Me neither" Ste replied before kissing him tenderly. John Paul wrapped an arm around Ste's neck to pull him in closer, but they pulled apart upon hearing baby Matthew squealing and clapping his hands clumsily. Ste laughed, "Look at that, your eighteen month old son ships us"

John Paul gave him an incredulous glance, "'Ships', seriously? What are you, a fourteen year old fangirl?" he paused, "and it's nineteen months, by the way"

xxx

Ste strolled down the stairs (he had just been in the bathroom to rid his body of all the water he had knocked back earlier) to find baby Matthew in John Paul's lap. He sauntered over to them and perched himself on the arm of the sofa.

"Look, as much as I love spending time with your son, we kind of have a date to get to"

John Paul paused and pulled a face, "So, funny story" he began, "You know Nana was supposed to look after Matthew for us? Well she met this guy at Bingo and they hit it off and-"

Ste raised his hand to stop John Paul and grimaced, "Ok, ok, you can stop. I think I know where this is going"

"Anyway, I've rung around and - believe it or not - despite having a huge family, no-one's available to look after my son tonight"

Ste shrugged, "I guess there are worse ways to spend an evening than with my favourite guy in the world"

He stood up and picked Matthew up off John Paul's lap, "Isn't that right, Matthew?" he cooed. Ste carried him over to the table and crouched down onto the floor, placing the toddler on his folded legs. He grinned at John Paul smugly and John Paul threw one of his son's stuffed animals at him. Ste looked outraged.

"Are you resorting to throwing toys, McQueen?" he asked dramatically before sucking in a breath, "That's low".

John Paul jeered, "Don't take the moral high ground with me, princess"

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! I hope that the flashback worked and that this was entert<em>_aining: I wanted a combination of upsetting moments and humorous ones, so I hope I succeeded. I've got another one-shot in progress and I'm watching the show avidly for more inspiration, but if anyone has any ideas for Ste and/or JP based stories, let me know. Anyway, reviews are always welcome!_


	6. Chapter 6

**The overdose**

_Prompted by coloredwords, this is a one-shot covering the lead-up to and the aftermath of Ste's accidental overdose back in August._

* * *

><p>Empty.<p>

That was the closest word to describe how Ste was feeling following recent events. He hadn't felt this way in a long time. He knew that he shouldn't: he had three of the sweetest, sassiest sisters in existence, a loving boyfriend and a steady job. But he had lost the one thing that he never knew he wanted. His dad. After everything that Ste had been through, he deserved stability. He had lost the love of his life- Brendan- the man who would take anything for him, and the man that took everything from him; his family, his identity, everything. Then there was his mum, the woman who caused him more pain than Brendan- and that was saying something- the woman who abused and neglected him through most of his life, but then turned up years later needing his help to end her suffering. Then Doug- his amazing, loving husband, who stood by him even when Ste treated him like dirt, and sacrificed his own life so that Ste could have his; and look at how that turned out, holding that white powder in the palm of his hand. He thought he had finally found the life that he had craved, the family that he was desperate for. Until it was all taken away in one afternoon.

One fateful afternoon.

He had only known his dad for about a year, and for the first few months he didn't even know who he was; in fact, he had almost slept with the guy, and knew that he was dating the man that (unbeknownst to him) Ste would later fall in love with. Everything changed with three simple words: 'you're my son'. Those words changed his life forever, and now his life had changed again. Ste just needed a way to cope, that's what he told himself as he shakily lifted a bottle of vodka to his lips. As the liquid flowed through his body he instantly felt better, and anything that makes you feel better couldn't be that bad, could it? He couldn't just stop after one gulp, or two, or three. Against his own better judgement he raised the white powder to his nose and inhaled deeply. The combination of drink and drugs, Ste knew wasn't ideal, but it was helping. What also helped, he remembered, was having a long, hot bath- they help you to relax. He stumbled into the bathroom and turned both of the taps on. The water built up as he put the plug in and steam began to rise, indicating that the bath would be boiling, just perfect. Ste stripped off and precariously stepped into the bath. His body was covered in Goosebumps until he sat back and immersed himself in the steaming water. Ste realised that he was right about the drinking and drugs combination as he began to feel dizzy instead of high and relaxed. His body felt weightless, but not in a good way, and he felt like he had lost all sense of control as he slid further down into the water…

xxx

"_**It'll be ok. We'll be ok"**_

John Paul realised that most things were easier said than done; he knew that all too well himself. Claiming to try to move on from his ordeal proved much easier than actually putting it into action, and he knew that Ste would have the same problem. Ste had tried to beat his addiction- after all, because of his drug taking he had convinced himself that he had killed someone and almost ended up in prison- but that was the point of addictions, your body becomes reliant on the substance and you become unable to function properly without it. Nonetheless, Ste knew he had to get off the drugs and he wanted to make the effort, and as long as he had that mind-set, Ste could overcome his problem. John Paul watched proudly as Ste was embraced by his sisters. He knew that he had ruined those girls' lives to some extent by having the affair with their dad a year earlier, but he hoped that they knew that he had never meant to hurt them, and if he had known Danny's secret earlier, he would never have let it get as far as it had.

John Paul pondered on what Ste had told him earlier: _"everyone that I get close to ends up getting hurt. I don't want to see you get hurt, John Paul"._ Was it true? Would he get hurt? Ok, so Ste had lost a lot of people in his life: Amy, his mum, Rae, Brendan, Doug, now Sam and Danny... Heck, you could even count Father Kieron- he was the first person that had shown Ste any sympathy or even tried to help him to become a better person. The list was endless, and he seriously hoped that he wouldn't be next on that list. John Paul knew that Ste didn't really mean to break up with him, but he had just come out of a coma, his mind was still foggy and he had just lost his dad and step-mum; of course he wouldn't be thinking straight. But perhaps Ste was right; fate did appear to be working against him, though the same could be said about John Paul. In that case, maybe he and Ste were perfect for each other- together they could fight fate, and prove that bad luck wasn't always on their side.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! Fun fact: this is the first one-shot (and actually fanfiction in general) that contains no real dialogue, except in quotation form. That was purely by accident, by the way. It's not my best piece of work (and it's shorter than I would have liked), but I'm pretty proud that I was able to write a passage with no dialogue in it. I hope you guys enjoyed it (and coloredwords, I hope this was close to what you were hoping for), and reviews are always welcome!<em>


	7. Chapter 7

**McConnor**

_Requested by Llanea, a continuation of JP and Diane's conversation from the 7__th__ October episode._

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>I'll never forgive him, and I'll never forgive myself, and I am sorry. I am so, so sorry"<strong>_

John Paul smiled gratefully at Diane as she passed him a mug of hot tea. She placed herself down carefully next to him and an awkward silence overcame them. After what felt like an eternity of neither of them uttering a single word, John Paul cleared his throat.

"How's Dee-Dee?" he asked, "You mentioned that she wasn't well earlier"

Diane nodded, "She's got a bit of a temperature, but she should be fine"

John Paul sniggered, "Parents go crazy when their baby is sick. I was running round like a headless chicken when Matthew first sneezed"

"Kids 'eh? Who'd have 'em?" she joked

John Paul nodded in agreement and they both smiled politely at each other before another awkward silence descended upon them.

"It's nearly their birthday, isn't it?" John Paul queried

"Yeah, in a couple of weeks" Diane responded, then blew out air, "I can't believe it's been a year, it feels like only yesterday"

"Time flies when you're…" he broke off. John Paul reckoned that 'having fun' wasn't quite the term to describe the past year. Diane gulped and nodded.

"Have you got anything planned for the big day?" he asked.

"Probably just a little party with some kids from playgroup" she replied, "You and Matthew can come, if you'd like" she paused, "Though he is about a year older than Ant and Dee-Dee"

"No, I'm sure he'd love to go" John Paul assured her before adding, "thanks"

Yet another awkward silence fell on them and after a while John Paul seriously considered making an excuse to leave. Before he could, however, Diane sighed.

"I think we should talk about the massive elephant in the room, don't you?"

"You want to talk about Finn?" John Paul questioned.

"Not 'want', but 'need'" she responded, "I know you stood up in court and told everyone what he did to you, but – as you said – Finn manipulated me. He manipulated me so much that though I heard you speak, I wasn't listening to the words. I was too busy shaking my head and inwardly calling you a liar"

"And outwardly" John Paul added, bitterly.

"I wish I hadn't" she insisted, "Deep down I knew you were telling the truth. I mean, you wouldn't lie about something like that, but it was easier to call you a liar than to actually believe the truth" she cut off tearfully before looking at John Paul. "I realise that the last thing you want to do is relive it all again, but I need to know how Finn turned from this sweet, innocent kid to that monster who attacked you"

"Where do you want me to start?" John Paul asked, helplessly.

"Well you said that you had found out that he mugged Marlena" Diane prompted.

John Paul nodded, "yeah, I went back into the classroom to call the police. Finn followed me in and chucked my mobile across the room" he swallowed, "I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't handle it the way I should have"

She leaned in, "How so?"

"I lashed out at him" he confessed, "As his teacher I should have dealt with him calmly and responsibly. I'm supposed to set an example, encouraging students, bringing out the best in them. Instead, I made him feel inferior. I mean, I even called him a 'snivelling, pathetic coward'"

He glanced up at Diane, who looked shocked.

"I'm not justifying what Finn did" John Paul explained, "But in that moment I had power over him, he **was **pathetic. So he decided that we should swap roles. That's why he…" he took a deep breath, "attacked me. He wanted the power, and he got it. For nearly ten months he had a hold over me, and **I** was the 'snivelling, pathetic coward'."

"That's why I assumed that his life was improving" Diane noted, "He seemed prouder on the night of his birthday, and after that. Now I understand why" she shrugged heavily, "He felt powerful"

Diane let out a deep breath and placed her head in her hands. John Paul paused, unsure of how to respond.

"I know he made your life a misery even before it happened" she began, lifting her head up, "But I don't understand why. I mean, he was a good kid. He went through so much"

"I know" John Paul agreed, "And the strange thing is, I don't **fully** blame Finn". After noticing Diane's puzzled expression he elaborated, "I mean, yeah, he's the one who did it- and I can never forgive him, as much as I just want peace- but if it wasn't for Robbie's influence, I can't help thinking that none of this would have happened"

"I knew that Roscoe boy was a bad influence" Diane responded through gritted teeth, "If he hadn't got involved then you would never have been attacked, and our Finn wouldn't be locked up"

"He was insecure" John Paul stated, "Robbie was someone to admire, to look up to. Finn wanted to impress him, and Robbie bullied him to bully me" he paused, "Obviously Robbie didn't tell him to rape me, but once his taunting took hold, all Finn knew was that he had to seize power- at any cost"

There was another silence, this time not awkward. Both participants were deep in thought.

"Do you think that rapists are born rapists?" Diane asked suddenly, "Do you reckon that this was bound to happen, that Finn would have attacked someone sooner or later? Or was it because of, you know, outside influences?"

"Are we really having the 'nature versus nurture' debate right now?" John Paul joked.

Before Diane could respond, the sound of crying interrupted them. Diane stood up.

"That's Dee-Dee" she explained, "Can you excuse me while I settle her?"

John Paul nodded and Diane scurried upstairs.

xxx

John Paul gazed at the framed photograph of the O'Connors: Finn, Sinead, Diane and Tony. John Paul was proud of the fact he could look at Finn's face without becoming paralysed with fear- he was getting his power back. He was taken out of his trance by Tony entering, and they both froze as they noticed each other.

"Uh… hi" Tony greeted hesitantly.

"Sorry, Diane let me in" John Paul explained, "But she's gone to soothe Dee-Dee"

"Oh, right"

John Paul feared another awkward silence, which he couldn't bear the thought of.

"So, how are you?" John Paul asked. Tony looked taken aback.

"I should be the one asking **you** that"

John Paul shrugged, "I'm better, thanks" he sniggered, "I sound like I've just had an injury or recovering from an illness"

Tony chuckled, "Well it's been a hectic few weeks, hasn't it?"

"You can say that again"

There was a pause before Tony slipped off his jacket.

"I hope you haven't had any hassle from my family" John Paul noted. Tony shook his head.

"They've been surprisingly docile"

John Paul scoffed, "Never thought I'd hear the word 'docile' associated with my family"

"They've probably all been too focused on you to give us too much grief" Tony suggested, "I know what your family's like, loyal to a fault"

John Paul smiled, "Good point, yeah. You were one of us at one point, after all"

Tony nodded before hesitating, "Does Jacqui know what happened?"

He nodded, "I do live with the gobbiest women in Chester, remember? Yeah, they told her, like, the moment that it was all revealed"

"How did she take it?" he asked

"Well it's Jacqui-"

"Say no more" Tony interrupted, causing them both to laugh.

"She told me that if she could be here, she would" John Paul said gravely, "she really misses everyone" he glanced up at Tony, who caught on to what he was implying.

Diane strolled down the stairs and wrapped her arms around Tony's waist. John Paul remembered the video in the back pocket of his jeans and felt nauseous watching them, and felt sorry for Diane, who was completely oblivious to the fact that her fiancé was having an affair with her step-daughter.

"I don't think I have to ask what you and John Paul were talking about" Tony stated

"Yeah" John Paul responded uncomfortably, "Look Tony, I just want to say thanks for not taking sides during this whole thing. I know it must have been difficult with Finn being your step-son and me being a friend"

"To tell you the truth I was conflicted" Tony admitted

"I can imagine" John Paul stated, "And you shouldn't have been in the middle of it, neither of you should have"

Tony and Diane smiled appreciatively before Tony kissed the top of Diane's head. John Paul winced slightly at it, then took a deep breath.

"Look, thanks for the tea, Diane" he began, "I really hope that we can put everything behind us and move forwards"

Diane nodded, "Yeah, me too" she agreed, "And you're welcome over here any time if you ever want to talk. Like I said before, I would have been there for you, and that's what I want to do now"

John Paul gave them one last smile before leaving.

xxx

To say the least, Ste was shocked to see John Paul emerging from Tony and Diane's flat and wrap his arms around his neck. Ste circled his arms around John Paul's waist and kissed the spot below his ear.

"Hey" Ste greeted gently, sounding slightly surprised, "Were you just with Tony and Diane?"

John Paul nodded into his shoulder. Ste pulled away and cupped John Paul's face in his hands.

"Are you ok?" he asked, studying his face and looking concerned. John Paul took Ste's hands in his own, then glanced at the flat that he had just been in before turning back to Ste.

"You know how I've been saying that I want to put this all behind me and move on?" John Paul began. Ste nodded, letting John Paul continue.

"Well, for the first time, I'm really starting to believe that it's going to happen"

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! I hope that you all enjoyed this one-shot. I actually really liked writing it (despite it being so harrowing), so thanks Llanea for the prompt. I also hope that you don't think I wrote JP as being overly-sympathetic towards Finn, but he did claim to just want peace, and I guess I can understand Finn's situation - there are two sides to every story after all, and it was a pretty complex situation - plus, I don't think Robbie has been punished enough for his role. Anyway, if there are any other ideas that people have for Ste andor JP related one-shots, just let me know. In the meantime, reviews are always appreciated!_


	8. Chapter 8

**The first time**

_Prompted by 'Guest' (not an ambiguous name at all, is it?!), this is the aftermath of Ste and JP's first time, from the 2__nd__ September episode._

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>I've spent months trying to be normal, it's all I want to feel"<strong>_

As John Paul lay in bed – Ste at his side - he reflected on the past nine months. In one respect, everything was beginning to be wrapped up, but he knew that it wasn't really that simple. He still had a fight ahead of him; he needed to get justice and to try to move on from what had happened. So, in actual fact, it was just the beginning of the end of his ordeal.

John Paul was taken out of his trance by Ste, who had rolled onto his side and was clicking his fingers in front of his face.

"John Paul" Ste began, sounding concerned, "Anyone there?"

John Paul grabbed his hand and linked their fingers together.

"I'm here" he sighed distantly, gazing at their intertwined hands.

"Are you ok?" Ste asked, peering down at him and studying his face intently

"I think I am, yeah" he responded contentedly before locking his eyes with Ste's, "What about you?"

"Yeah, I'm good" he swallowed, "It's just that I know how tough this was for you-"

Ste was cut off by John Paul unlinking their hands and covering his lips with one of his fingers.

"Ste, I've already told you, I just want to have a normal relationship. You know, a normal life"

"Yeah, but-" Ste attempted to say, but was having difficulty because John Paul's finger pressed to his mouth was restricting lip movement. John Paul laughed and Ste removed his hand before entwining their fingers again.

"**Yeah, but** I didn't want to push you"

John Paul chuckled, "You didn't push me. In case you've forgotten, I was the one who initiated it. Both times"

Ste recalled his boyfriend suggesting it at The Loft and outside his home, then nodded. John Paul rubbed his arm.

"I just hope that this was worth the wait"

Ste pulled a face, "'Worth the wait'?" he repeated, sneering, "You make it sound like I've been waiting for** years**. We've been together for, like, six weeks. That's not long"

"You know what I mean. I just hope you weren't disappointed" John Paul argued coyly.

"Disappointed is about the furthest away from how I feel" Ste responded gently. John Paul smiled before wrapping an arm around Ste's neck and leaning up to kiss him tenderly.

"I can definitely see why even the Priest couldn't resist you" Ste added as they pulled apart.

John Paul snorted with laughter as he fell back against the pillow, "Wow, you're bringing my ex fiancé into conversation? Have you never heard of 'moodkill'?"

Ste shrugged, "I'm just making a point"

John Paul rolled onto his side so that he was facing Ste before asking teasingly, "And what point would that be, then?"

"That you **were**,** are**, and always **will be**, amazing" he whispered, before leaning towards him and kissing him passionately.

xxx

John Paul hoped that Ste didn't mind that he was on top. He didn't do it to overpower Ste – he would never do anything like that to him – but the last time he was in a situation similar to this one, he was violated and overpowered. This time he wanted to gain some sort of power back. He was in control of a situation, something that he hadn't felt in a long time, and he hoped that Ste understood that.

Well even if Ste didn't understand it, he certainly wasn't opposed to it, judging by the goofy grin that he wore on his face. John Paul rolled over onto his stomach and rested his hand on Ste's chest.

"Hey, I hope that I haven't made things awkward between you and Tony at work"

Ste hummed, stroking John Paul's hair, "Well I'm not expecting it to be 'rainbows and puppies' or anything" he began, "But Tony's always been like a dad to me. Even while Danny was around we were close-"

"That's the point, I don't want to ruin that" John Paul argued

"We'll be fine" Ste reassured him.

"But he's Finn's step-dad"

Ste placed a hand over John Paul's to interrupt him "Actually, Tony's about as related to Finn as he is to me"

"How did you work that one out?" John Paul asked, hoisting himself up onto his side.

"Well Diane is Finn's **step**-mum, so they're not even biologically related. And Tony and Diane aren't actually married, so there's no real relation between them. Plus, Tony's known me longer" he told him, smugly.

"Wow, get you and all those technicalities" John Paul replied, slightly sarcastic but secretly impressed.

"I'm just saying, Tony and I have been through a lot" Ste told him, "I'm pretty sure we can survive this"

"Yeah, but why should you and Tony have to suffer because I handed Finn in to the-"

"Don't" Ste warned him, "You know as well as I do that you handing Finn in to the police was the best thing you've ever done. If anything, Finn's to blame for any tension between me and Tony" he paused, "And so what if things are weird? The fact that the little rat is gonna get what's coming to him is all that matters"

John Paul nodded, "Yeah, you're right"

Ste looked pleasantly surprised, "Wow, that's the first time I've been 'right' in a while"

John Paul laughed, "You're an idiot"

Ste looked taken aback, "So I've just gone from being 'right' to being 'an idiot' in a couple of seconds"

John Paul sighed, "Ste, just shut up and kiss me"

Ste shrugged before happily obliging.

xxx

"_**Ah carbs, just what you need"**_

Ste sat up in bed and reached towards John Paul as he entered the bedroom, "Ah! My favourites!" he exclaimed, seizing the biscuits and crisps from his boyfriend's hands.

John Paul scoffed, "That's a bit weird coming from a professional chef"

"Shut up" Ste grumbled, ripping open the packet of crisps. John Paul just laughed and collapsed into bed next to him.

"Mercy wanted to know if we were going to join her for Countdown"

Ste glanced at him, looking perplexed.

"'Countdown?'" he repeated, "What does she think we are, OAP's?"

John Paul nudged him, "Hey! Don't make fun of my Nana"

Ste put his hands up in a fake surrender, "Well Marlena is definitely the sassiest OAP in Chester"

John Paul jeered, "Try 'the world'"

John Paul glanced over at Ste, who had also opened the packet of biscuits and was stuffing his face with food; John Paul scoffed and put a hand out to stop him.

"Oi, greedy-guts, save some for the rest of us!" he exclaimed, receiving an evil glare from his boyfriend in response. "I need to get my energy up as well" he continued, before pausing and looking away, "You know, for round two"

John Paul could feel Ste's gaze boring into him and he bit his lip. Upon hearing the rustling of packets John Paul snapped his head around to find that Ste had chucked the food onto the floor, contents flying onto the carpet.

"Hey, you're gonna have to clean that up!" he exclaimed.

Ste shrugged, "Don't care" he replied simply, before grabbing John Paul and pulling him down, kissing him passionately with tongues and teeth clashing.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! I hope that this one-shot was up to standard and that everyone (including 'Guest') enjoyed it. I apologise if the passage about Finn and Diane not being related appeared as insensitive, but I was just trying to make a point and thought I was being clever, though it may not seem that way. I also hope you guys liked the references to Doug and Father Kieron (they're my favourites of the boys' exes). As always, if anyone has any requests, please let me know, and reviews are always appreciated!<em>


	9. Chapter 9

**Giving up**

_Prompted by krissy, this is the aftermath of JP deciding that he's going to back out of giving evidence at court. Based on the episode airing 26__th__ September._

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>I can't give evidence. I'm backing out"<strong>_

Ste stared at John Paul, aghast at what he had just heard.

"Are you serious?" he asked incredulously. When John Paul glanced up to look him in the eyes, Ste knew the answer: John Paul wouldn't joke about **anything **related to the trial.

"That's a 'yes' then" Ste murmured bitterly.

John Paul sighed, "I know what you're thinking-"

"And you're psychic now, are you?" Ste interrupted

"I know it's a bad idea"

"Well why do it, then?" Ste exclaimed

"I heard Diane and Sinead talking about me-" John Paul began, but Ste put his hand out to stop him.

"What do you expect? Finn manipulated them to agree with him, of course they're not gonna be singing your praises" he pointed out, "Don't listen to them"

"But they were right. Finn's a kid, a kid who is claiming that I've been preying on him. They're more likely to believe him than me. Plus, I did go to prison for beating up Robbie, remember? And that doesn't exactly help my case, does it?"

John Paul paused and noticed Ste looking down uncomfortably. He sighed before continuing, "One of the reasons that it took me so long to admit what happened was because I didn't think that anyone would believe that a teacher could be sexually assaulted by one of his students"

Ste looked back up at him again before taking a step closer to him, "Yeah, and I know that you felt ashamed or whatever, but you did eventually admit what happened" he paused and shook his head, "Anyway, it's gonna look suss if you back out now"

The sound of the bathroom door swinging open interrupted their conversation and they both smiled politely at the man who entered. Ste pulled on John Paul's sleeve.

"Come on, let's go back to mine" he suggested in a low voice, "No-one's gonna be in so we can just talk this through, ok?"

John Paul nodded and followed him out.

xxx

Although the television was on and the boys were reclined on the sofa facing it, neither of them were focusing on the programme. They were too occupied with thoughts about the upcoming trial and John Paul's game-changing decision. Ste glanced over at John Paul, who was staring off into space with a thoughtful expression.

"You're still thinking about what Diane and Sinead said?"

John Paul crossed his arms, "Do you blame me?"

"Well like I said, you have to ignore them" Ste reminded him, "They're just trying to psyche you out"

"They couldn't have been, they didn't even know I was listening" John Paul responded before sighing, "The problem is, Diane and Sinead – who know Finn better than anyone – believe that he is innocent, and why wouldn't they? His story isn't that far-fetched and he is just a kid"

Ste rolled onto his side so that he was facing John Paul, "But you and Diane worked together, you guys were friends-"

"So?" John Paul responded, "Obviously she would take his side over mine, he's her step-son. It's easier for her to believe him than to believe me. I mean, who'd want to imagine that their child is a rapist?"

Ste shrugged helplessly and John Paul continued, "It's like when Holly accused Dodger of raping her, whose side were we supposed to take? If that had gone to court, the jury would have had to decide between a sweet, innocent teenage girl, and a man who has a reputation for being promiscuous. Even though Holly lied, the jury wouldn't have known that, and it's the same situation here"

"Not really" Ste argued, "Finn's not some innocent kid. I mean, he bullied you and he mugged Marlena-"

John Paul sat up and turned to face him, clearly wound up, "Yeah but that was never a police matter, and there's no official proof that he did those things. I was too scared of what Finn would do to me if I had reported him" he argued, "I, on the other hand, have been convicted of assaulting a minor. In the court's eyes, he is innocent. Finn's managed to convince his family of his lies, he'll easily manage to sway the court." He took a deep, shaky breath, "And if that happens, not only will he go free, but I'll probably end up in prison again **and **on the sex offender's register"

Ste looked startled at his boyfriend's outburst. John Paul's eyes brimmed with tears and he gazed into Ste's blue ones, "I'm scared, Ste" he whispered, "I'm scared of standing up in court and re-living everything, I'm scared of having to look at Finn whilst telling his family about what he did to me. But most of all, I'm scared of what's going to happen next". Ste could almost feel his heart breaking at John Paul's words (some of which were his only a number of weeks ago) and he pulled him into his arms.

"Look" Ste began, "I know it's difficult, and I get why you want to pull out of the trial. But you finally plucked up the courage to admit what Finn did to you. You've shown more guts in this past month than I've seen anyone show in a long time" John Paul smiled weakly into Ste's neck. Ste continued, "You're so close, you can't give up now"

Ste felt John Paul nod and he moved him to kiss his forehead before letting go. John Paul wiped his eyes.

"Thanks" he whispered, smiling gratefully. Ste returned the smile and John Paul stroked his cheek before planting a soft kiss on his lips.

"Maybe I just need to have a breather from all of this" John Paul suggested, running his fingers through his boyfriend's hair, "You know, take some time to clear my head, find a distraction so that I'm not thinking about the damn trial all the time"

Ste nodded, "No complaints here" he responded, putting his hands up in a fake surrender.

John Paul smiled and kissed him again quickly before nodding towards the television, "Anything good on?"

Ste shrugged before grabbing the remote control and flicking through the channels. His eyes lit up suddenly, "Oh look, 'Jeremy Kyle'!"

John Paul sighed but couldn't suppress the slight smirk at Ste's enthusiasm for the reality show- which even he was beginning to embrace, "Well nothing says 'distraction' like watching people whose lives are more screwed up than your own"

Ste sniggered, "Well I think they're still dealing with that guy who's had a baby with his sister and he's fallen in love with her, but she's in a relationship with their step-dad"

John Paul recalled watching the first part with Ste a few days earlier, and they were both disgusted by it, "**Still**'?!" he exclaimed before shuddering, "That situation is seriously messed up"

Ste nodded and hummed, "Thank God we don't know anyone like that"

John Paul exhaled audibly and nodded in agreement. Ste wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close. He smiled to himself in satisfaction; hopefully John Paul would take everything he had said on board before making a final decision about the trial. All Ste wanted was for his boyfriend to get justice and to be able to be himself again- which is something that seemed to be missing. And if it meant that he wouldn't have to see Finn's arrogant mug ever again, well that was just a bonus.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! I really hope that everyone enjoyed this (including krissy, and thanks for the prompt by the way- it was a bit tricky at times, but I found it really fun!) and I hope you guys spotted the reference to the 'Sienna-Dodger-Maxine' storyline; I just randomly came up with that bit and had to use it. Anyway, I'm keeping an eye out for any inspiration from the show, but I'm open to suggestions. In the meantime, reviews are always welcome!<em>


	10. Chapter 10

**The trial/the Lakes**

_This is kind of two short one-shots put together. It focuses on the aftermath of Ste's conversation with JP before the sentencing, the aftermath of Finn being found guilty, then snippets of their getaway in the Lakes._

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>This is your home, John Paul. And he leaves before you do"<strong>_

John Paul continued to stare at Ste, and both men stood in silence, unsure of what to do next. Eventually Ste cleared his throat and gingerly stepped into the house, closing the door softly.

"Look, John Paul, I am so sorry for what happened-" he began shakily

John Paul shook his head, "Don't" he interrupted, "I know it was a mistake, I know you couldn't help it"

"Yeah, but that doesn't excuse me stealing your money"

"Money's just an object" John Paul argued, "It's the fact that you didn't tell me how much you were struggling. You know, I would have helped you"

Ste looked confused, "But you said that you couldn't deal with my problems on top of the trial"

John Paul looked down, ashamed, "I was just shocked and stressed, I didn't mean it" he told him, "I would never turn my back on you"

Ste smiled gratefully, and John Paul paused before continuing.

"Look, after the verdict I promise that I will help you through this" he told him, "You won't have to deal with this alone, I swear"

Ste nodded, tears shining in his eyes. John Paul held his hands out, which Ste took tentatively. John Paul pulled Ste towards him and into an embrace. They stood like that for a while, another silence developing.

"Thank you" Ste whispered suddenly.

John Paul pulled away slightly, but still had his arms wrapped around him. They didn't need any more words; they smiled at each other before kissing slowly. After a few moments Ste broke the kiss and glanced at his watch.

"As much as I'd love to stay like this forever" he began, pausing to steal another lingering kiss, "we should head back to court"

John Paul became visibly paler at Ste's words and he swallowed uncomfortably before nodding. Ste opened the door, holding it open for him, and then followed him out.

xxx

"_**Guilty"**_

John Paul barely had enough energy to stand, so he collapsed onto one of the sofas and let out a deep breath.

"I can't believe it" he muttered. Ste shot him a quizzical look.

"'**Can't** believe it'?" Ste repeated, "Finn's guilty, he's been **found** guilty, what's unbelievable about that?"

John Paul shrugged, "It's just that I've been waiting such a long time for this, it feels unreal"

Ste noticed John Paul's eyes glistening.

"I really hope they're tears of joy" Ste noted.

John Paul shook his head, "I feel stupid" he choked out as tears began to roll down his cheeks.

Ste sat down next to him and rubbed his back, "You're not stupid!" he exclaimed, "Why would you say that?"

"Because it happened back in January" John Paul pointed out, "And it's nearly nine months later that he's been locked up. If I'd have just told Sam that Finn did it when I went to report it, this would have been over a long time ago"

"But you told me that you felt ashamed" Ste reminded him, "And you needed time to get your head around it, time to heal"

"Yeah, but if I'd reported it back then, Nancy wouldn't have been attacked. She was right, my silence caused her to go through the same thing that-"

Ste grabbed his hand to silence him, "What Nancy went through doesn't even compare. Finn also used his power against you **after** the attack, he didn't do anything like that to Nancy, so she doesn't have the first clue about it" he paused, then gently lifted John Paul's chin so that he could look him in the eyes. "Look, it wouldn't have mattered whether you told the truth back in January, now, or in five year's time. The only thing that matters is that Finn's got what he deserves"

John Paul smiled at him gratefully before kissing him tenderly.

xxx

"The Lakes?" John Paul verified. Ste, who was standing in the doorway, nodded eagerly.

"Yep" he confirmed, "It turns out that Danny's mum is a property developer up there and I got into contact with her. Apparently she has some flats going spare, so we can borrow one for a while"

"And that was it? She didn't ask why?"

"Well I explained that we'd been through a difficult time and we just wanted a romantic getaway" Ste explained, "The old dear doesn't seem to have long left, so if I'd have gone into detail about us, it would have taken so long that she probably would have died" he joked. John Paul couldn't help but snigger in response. Ste was right after all: they did have a long and complicated history (not even taking into account anything from before 2014) that even **they** struggle to get their heads around sometimes.

"So, are you up for it?" Ste asked. John Paul shot him a quizzical look.

"What about work? We both have jobs, we can't just up and leave"

"We both took time off work for the trial, I'm sure they'll understand. I mean, Tony was fine with-"

Before Ste had even finished his sentence, John Paul had raced to the phone to call his boss.

xxx

_**16**__**th **__**October**_

Ste couldn't help but notice the wary glances that he had been receiving from John Paul since they woke up. During lunch he realised that John Paul had barely eaten anything and was still watching him.

Ste put his fork down and picked up a napkin, "Have I got something on my face?" he asked, dabbing his mouth with it. John Paul shook his head.

"Then why are you looking at me so weirdly?" Ste questioned, unsure whether he should be amused or concerned.

John Paul shrugged awkwardly, "I just wasn't sure how you were gonna be today"

"What do you mean? I'm great; I'm with my boyfriend in a beautiful part of the country" he insisted, "Ok, it stinks of cow-pat, but it's great to be away from all the doom and gloom of Hollyoaks" he chuckled.

Noticing John Paul's uncomfortable expression, Ste sighed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, then paused momentarily, "Is it about Finn? Look, it's gonna take a while to move on from-"

John Paul shook his head, "No, it's not that" he responded, then shifted uneasily, "Do you know what the date is today?"

Ste checked his mobile which was lying next to his plate, "the sixteenth of October, why?"

"Don't you remember something that happened a year ago today?"

Ste stared at him blankly.

John Paul took a deep breath, "Doug…" he began.

Ste's eyes widened in shock and realisation, "No!" he exclaimed, "Oh God, Doug died a year ago today, how could I forget that?"

John Paul placed his hand over Ste's, "It's ok, you've had a lot going on"

"That's no excuse!" he argued, "If it was the other way round, Doug would have remembered. He probably would have been at my grave first thing this morning putting fresh flowers down" he paused, "What kind of person forgets the anniversary of their own husband's death?"

"Look, the only reason** I** remembered was because it was Mercy's birthday yesterday and it reminded me of the party and the explosion" he explained hurriedly, "trust me, I wish I **hadn't** remembered"

"But I should have!" Ste cried tearfully. John Paul hesitated uneasily, then Ste pushed himself away from the table and stood up, wringing his hands anxiously.

"What's wrong?" John Paul asked, noticing Ste's state.

"I - I just, I need some air" he stammered, before rushing out of the flat. John Paul watched after him helplessly before wondering whether 'needing some air' was literal or metaphorical.

xxx

After several minutes of searching, John Paul eventually found Ste hunched up next to some steps leading to the beach. He sighed as Ste looked up at him with red eyes and was shaking furiously.

"I'm sorry" Ste cried.

John Paul noticed the empty sachet and realised what his boyfriend had done. He crouched down beside him and wrapped his arms around him.

"It's ok" John Paul reassured him sadly, rubbing his back, "I know you can't help it"

"Doug would be so ashamed of me" Ste began, but John Paul pulled away and shushed him.

"He wouldn't. Doug worshipped the ground that you walked on", he paused, "though back then I didn't really understand why"

Ste sniggered before wiping his eyes.

"At his funeral I said that I was going to show him that I was worth saving" Ste sniffed before pointing at the empty pouch, "and look how that turned out"

"So surely that's enough for you to turn your life around" John Paul urged, "You know you have a problem and you want to do something about it, so do it. Prove to Doug that you were worth him sacrificing his life for" he took Ste's face in his hands to look him in the eyes, "fight this addiction for the person who never stopped fighting for you"

Sure enough, after four long days of trying to go clean, Ste made it a whole day without drugs or alcohol, and each day after that became slightly easier. John Paul was thrilled with Ste's progress by the time they were ready to return to the village, and knew that after everything that they had been through so far, they could overcome anything that came their way.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! I hope this wasn't too wishy-washy, since it did cover quite a lot. I was kind of annoyed that we didn't get a Doug mention on the show at some point (I actually thought<strong> that<strong> would be the reason for Ste's drug taking when Amy returned), so I thought I'd write one here. I'm still watching (and re-watching) the show to find some inspiration, but if anyone has any ideas of one-shots that they would like me to have a go at, let me know. In the meantime, reviews are always appreciated!_


	11. Chapter 11

**Getting together**

_Inspired by __coloredwords,__ this is the aftermath of Ste and JP confessing their love for one another. They end up having an important discussion which has been a long time coming. Set 10__th__ July._

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>I love you too"<strong>_

John Paul pulled away from the kiss suddenly, "hold on"

Ste opened his eyes, lips still pouted slightly, "what?" he asked, dropping his arms and sounding slightly annoyed.

"Well we've just said the three biggest words that you could ever say to someone-" John Paul began, but Ste scoffed.

"What, 'I love you'? It's hardly 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious', is it?" he joked

John Paul smiled, rubbing Ste's arms, "no, but you know what I mean. You can't just drop those words in lightly"

"It's not like we didn't mean them" he argued.

"No, but we're not even a couple. Those are usually words that you say when you're in a committed relationship"

"So why don't we be in one then?" Ste suggested

John Paul was surprised, "You want to?" he asked

"Well yeah, I wouldn't have said it otherwise, would I?" he pointed out, "What about you?"

John Paul took a deep breath and nodded, "Yeah, I do too"

Ste smiled widely, "Ok, it's official then, I guess" he announced excitedly before moving towards John Paul to wrap his arms around him and kiss him passionately. John Paul still had reservations about being in a relationship considering the situation that he was in: he knew there would be problems ahead - especially being in such a serious relationship - and he wasn't sure whether he was ready to tackle them yet. Nonetheless, John Paul had learnt that sometimes it was better to just enjoy the moment rather than to worry about things that hadn't even happened yet, which is exactly what he did as he wrapped his arms around Ste's neck to return the kiss.

xxx

The sound of knocking on the front door of the student house interrupted the boys' make-out session. Ste reluctantly broke the kiss and held up a finger to signify that he would be back in a moment before heading for the door. When he opened it, Danny was on the other side, looking apologetic. Ste rolled his eyes and began to slam the door on him, but Danny put his hand out to grab it.

"Ste, I am so sorry!" he exclaimed.

"I don't wanna hear it" he replied, annoyed.

"Just let me explain" Danny commanded, "please"

Ste sighed before opening the door properly and staring at him. Danny held his son's gaze for a moment before revealing the truth.

"Look, I knew how important this case was, and knowing that you had evidence changed everything. I didn't mean to hand you in, but I didn't know what else to do"

Ste looked stunned and angry, "You actually thought I was guilty?"

"**You** thought you were guilty!" Danny argued, "You even confessed to it!"

"But you're my dad, you should have had faith in me, and shouldn't have handed me in behind my back!" Ste pointed out, "you could have at least told me that you were the one who found the gun **before** you handed it in"

"You still would have gone to the police to confess" John Paul pointed out, joining them. It was an understatement to say that he wasn't exactly thrilled by Danny's presence - particularly after this new development - but he did have to agree with him on this point.

"Besides, it was a murder investigation, and you knew about crucial evidence. I would have had to go to the police regardless of who it was that knew about it" Danny added. He took a deep breath, "Anyway, that's not why I'm here".

Ste crossed his arms expectantly and Danny continued, "I'm going to cook us a family dinner to celebrate"

"So you've just gone from believing that I **wasn't** innocent to throwing a party for me because I **am **innocent" Ste noted.

"I know how it seems, but for a moment I really thought we were going to lose you again, and now I want to celebrate being a proper family. I know you don't live at home anymore, but you are still one of us"

Ste pondered this for a moment before glancing at John Paul, "Do you wanna come?"

John Paul looked uncomfortable, "I don't really think that's a good idea. I'm not one of the family"

Ste shrugged, "depends on how you look at it. I mean, we could use it to tell everyone the good news"

Danny looked at them quizzically, "what 'good news'?"

Ste smiled at John Paul before turning back to his dad, "we're a couple"

"Oh" Danny exclaimed, not even attempting to hide his disappointment, "Wow, that's… wow!"

Ste and John Paul exchanged a knowing look.

John Paul grimaced slightly, "Thanks but I don't really think Sam's my biggest fan at the moment"

Danny and Ste nodded in understanding, the atmosphere beginning to turn uncomfortable.

Danny cleared his throat, "Well that's a shame, but **you** can make it, can't you son?"

Ste nodded hesitantly, "yep"

Danny brightened up, "Good. I'll see you at seven then"

Ste smiled in confirmation and Danny gave a quick wave before hurrying out of the door.

xxx

Ste handed John Paul the mug that he had just washed, "what you said to Danny, about Sam not being your biggest fan, was that true?"

John Paul began to wipe the mug, not looking at Ste, "yeah, of course" he replied uncertainly.

Ste stared at him for a few moments, "I don't believe that"

John Paul sighed, "Can you imagine how this would look to Sam? Sitting at a table with the guy who had an affair with her husband and is now in a relationship with her step-son?" Not even mentioning the fact that Sam believed that he was lying about being raped.

"Who cares what Sam thinks?" Ste exclaimed.

John Paul widened his eyes at him, "she saved you from going to prison for murder!"

Ste nodded reluctantly, "Ok, so** I** care. But you shouldn't"

John Paul paused, then took the soapy plate from Ste's hands, "weird question, but does Sam know that you and Danny, you know…?"

Ste caught on to what he was implying and shook his head fervently, "of course not. It's not exactly something you'd yell from the rooftops, is it? And we're not exactly gonna tell people that we're related to. Besides, even **we've** forgotten about that" he paused, "Until now"

"Sorry" John Paul replied sheepishly.

An uncomfortable silence developed as the men continued the washing up.

"It's lucky that Sam doesn't know the rest of it" Ste suddenly noted. John Paul glanced up at him blankly.

"You know, being with Brendan and Doug as well" he reminded John Paul.

John Paul realised then nodded, pulling a face, "yeah, I reckon that **any**one would be a bit freaked out by that"

Another uncomfortable silence developed before John Paul finally asked, "Is this really a good idea? Us, I mean"

Ste looked confused, "why?"

"Well we have so much history" John Paul explained, "Like you said, I've been with your ex-boyfriend, ex-husband and your dad. Even excluding them we have a long, complicated history. Maybe it's a warning sign that us being a couple isn't a good idea"

Ste pondered this for a few moments, "So you're saying we're already over?"

John Paul shrugged, "Honestly, I don't know what I'm saying. I don't even know what I want or what's right. All I know is that we have these intense feelings for each other" Ste nodded and John Paul paused, "I don't want this to end before it's even begun, but it's not fair to complicate things if it's going to end badly later on"

Ste nodded nervously. John Paul noticed and put down the cutlery that he had dried before stepping towards Ste and kissing him tenderly.

"I do love you" he told him as he pulled away, "And I do care about you, and I promise that I will be by your side while you fight this drug problem. But we need to seriously think about what we want from each other"

Ste nodded again, trying to force a reassuring smile onto his face. John Paul kissed him again quickly.

"Have fun tonight" John Paul instructed softly, rubbing Ste's right arm. He let go and slowly moved away from Ste before wandering out of the house. Ste sighed and banged his fist against the work surface.

xxx

Both Ste and John Paul laid on their beds and reflected on their earlier conversation. Obviously having shared men in the past complicated things, but what relationship wasn't complicated? In some ways, they could look at the situation as either a sign that they shouldn't be together, or alternatively, as a sign that they definitely should be together. Perhaps having grown up in the same village, all their conflicts and run-ins as well as their connections through Kieron, Brendan, Doug and Danny were all part of the path leading them to each other. Neither of the guys had considered this before, and neither of them were big believers in destiny, but it made sense. All that they knew was that they had to figure out what they were going to do about the situation…

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading! I was quite inspired by <em>_coloredwords' idea and __the 10__th__ July episode__ (plus it always annoyed me that in the following episode they were bickering, so I wanted to write a reason for that). However, it didn't flow as smoothly as I was hoping, and some of the dialogue comes across as a bit forced. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed it (and I wonder if anyone spotted the Doug reference in one of JP's lines – it was a complete accident), and reviews are always welcome!_


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